As I've previously shared, one “a-ha” moment that I had several years ago was the notion that what you focus on expands. This also applies to language we use and words we speak.
When we first become mindful of our thoughts and language, it is easier to make some positive changes.
When we constantly complain or merely focus on what we perceive to be “wrong” in our lives, we will continue to see those things and attract the same.
This also goes with what we post on social media. What are we placing our energy on?
If you say things like “I’m so broke / unlucky / lonely ” (fill in the blank) it’s like you’re taking this on as a permanent label - a label that cannot be changed.
Psychologist Martin Seligman calls this type of thinking as “permanent pervasive,” which leans towards pessimism. These thoughts indicate we believe that this is how things are and we can’t change them. On a similar note, sociologist Corey Keyes found that “flourishers” have an “I can change” mindset.
Interestingly, Spanish even has its own differentiation of verb usage. For example, there is kind of a temporary “is” and a permanent “is.” (Personal side note and fun fact that you may not know: I have a BA in Spanish. :))
I know the statement above may be a harsh example (it didn’t even feel good to type it!), although I know there are negative tapes that sometimes play in our minds, and we give these limiting beliefs so much more power when we VERBALIZE them.
Labeling yourself can also bring on such as sense of shame.
Ultimately, we are asking the universe for what we believe. “And so it is.”
Be mindful of when you gossip. Surround yourself with positive people who are secure enough in themselves not to talk about others or put others down in order to feel better about themselves. Not to mention the law of karma…what we put out there comes right back to us.
If you have not yet read Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements, do yourself a favor and do so. One of his “agreements” for life is to “be impeccable with your word.” This (along with the others) can be powerful and life changing.
So what are you focusing on with your language? On what circumstances do you place your energies?
Be mindful that there is always a ripple effect.
What have your experiences been in this area of being mindful of the language you use? Be sure to share them by posting a comment below. Your story can help others as well!