Why I didn't go to the bar...

Just say no...

As I’ve mentioned before, I totally agree with the idea that sometimes saying "no" is saying "yes" to yourself.

I’ve personally learned through my experiences that listening to what my body needs and not resisting it brings me so much more comfort and a greater sense of overall well-being.

Here’s a recent example…

I was pretty busy last week, working longer days than usual and juggling unforeseen circumstances. I have learned through the years that if I choose to work long days, it is only temporary as it is not sustainable for me to do so over a significant period of time. I pay attention to my own energy -- despite the fact that there are gurus who indicate that we have to work ourselves into the ground to be "successful."



Last Saturday, I allowed myself some downtime earlier in the day curled up with a hot yerba mate, a book and a blanket. My partner Lauren and I went for a walk with the dog, and then on to an early dinner. I was looking forward to some downtime at home and being in for the night on a chilly evening.

Then a text comes through: Hey, we’re at the bar (that is a couple blocks from my house). Come on down!

Ugh. First, the nebulous “we.”  As an introvert, the thought of a) going to a loud, noisy bar when I needed downtime and b) making small talk and being “on” with people I don’t know sounded draining to me when I needed time to nourish and replenish.

Don’t get me wrong! I absolutely LOVE and welcome the spontaneous text as an invite to hang out: “Hey! Grabbing a bite; what are you doing?”

That being said, when I planned downtime after two weekends in a row where I either had company or was out of town (and expecting more company and travel soon), I had to respect my own desire to lay low.

If some people think I’m antisocial, that’s totally ok with me as I know that’s not true. What matters to me is that I consciously choose activities that are NOURISHING to me rather than DRAINING. This will be especially important as the holiday season is officially upon us. I have developed a (fun) habit of asking myself if an activity is NOURISHING to my soul before I say yes.

What are your thoughts on this? How do you incorporate self-care in the activities you choose?

Be sure to share your insights below as your input can help others as well!